It is June 2014 and a new government is to be sworn in. After a yearlong ‘relay fast’ the BCS (Bharatiya Civil Society) has taken over, and the previous government has been ousted.
Preparations for the swearing-in ceremony are on. The Gandhian leader, Anna Hazare’s name has been proposed for the position of the President of the country. The biggest hurdle in the government formation is that no one is willing to be the Prime Minister for the simple reason that the post is under the purview of the Jan Lokpal.
The party President Baba Ramdev does not want power, they say. But the news is that he wants the coveted remote control left over by the previous government. Most are so enamored by the idea of power without accountability that they are refraining from taking any post except the post of the Party President. With the remote of course! There is a strong rumor that Ms Kiran Bedi might be the future Prime Minister and Mr Kejriwal the Deputy Prime Minister.
The mass satyagrah has resulted in a food grain surplus and food prices have touched rock-bottom. Consequently many women have attained size-zero. The emergency wards were inundated with famished janta, hell bent on fasting. The ‘fast and fury’ has spread like a wild fire. School children are also on a hunger strike demanding more holidays and no homework. The pressing need of the hour is to construct several jails, Tihar-1, Tihar-2, and Tihar-3 to accommodate offenders. DLF and Unitech have ventured into building modern jails, befitting the status of the high profile inmates.
So what about the ousted parties?
Well, the BJP has taken over Patanjali Yog Peeth at Haridwar and is religiously involved in making ayurvedic medicines. Baba Advani gives pravachan every morning at five followed by Sadhvi Uma Bharti. Ms Sushma Swaraj is now a judge for a reality dance show, “Ab Nachega India”. Since Arnab joined the BCS, Mr. Jaitly has take over Times Now and is conducting debates on prime time.
I know you are wondering about Rahul, the dimpled one. Well he has recently signed Ra-2, a sequel to Ra-1. A few obsequious party men still run after his car when Rahul Baba ventures to the studios. It was Diggy, his personal secretary who bagged the role for him. The lead heroine has not been finalized. The gossip mills say that a young new face will be launched opposite him. Ms Renuka Chaudhary is likely to play the role of his screen mother.
Madame has moved to her native place Orbassano, Turin just outside Italy and is successfully running a chain of pizza outlets. Of course with the help of loyal ex-Congressmen! Each time Diggy visits Italy, he tries his favorite ‘Foot in Mouth’ Pizza with extra punch…oops cheese! Considering his penchant for meddling with public sentiments, he also runs his own popular radio-show called, ‘Chiggy Wiggy with Diggy’.
Grapevine has it that a certain lawyer in the previous government who thought that 2G was a ‘zero sum loss’ is taking math tuition s at home. And finally the man of less words and lesser action has moved to the US and is writing a book, ‘My Experiments with Silence’.
This post is a figment of my lopsided imagination. Have I gone crazy? Don’t blame me. The recent theatrics can have that effect on any sane person.