Is Age Just a Number?

As Alan Sinfield once said power and love is interconnected. In every relationship there seems to be this power play and more often than not its got to do with age. If the recent news of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise breaking up is something to go by then age difference in relationship is definitely turning out to be bar.

What’s in an age! It’s just a number says marriage counselors. But in the real world age differences is more conservative. A friend on grounds of anonymity says ‘I was dating this guy eight years older than me. I was so sure we were completely in love. But once we were closer physically, he started viewing me as an immature, naïve person. We kept on having fights; it was like he never understood me in the first place. We broke up soon after.’
Research shows that though there is no direct relationship between wide age differences and splitting up, there is ample proof that one of the partners often feels misunderstood and neglected for not being able to understand and take part in the world the other inhabits in. As Radhika Paul puts in ‘I felt so claustrophobic going with Hiren to his parties. I never knew most of these gray haired people. All they wanted to talk about seemed to be economy and politics and when the discussion did steer towards films it was Madhubala. I mean come on I grew up on Kareena’s and Madhuris.’ Couples who differ widely in age are also more likely to cohabit than marry claims a popular website.
There's no evidence they have less to talk about, and as for friends, a partner's mates are never as interesting as yours, whatever their ages. Despite our fascination with them, then, big age gaps aren't common. Whether or not they work depends on normal relationships rules. Another commentator had a different version to say ‘the key to a successful relationship is balance. My parents definitely got it right - Dad was 21 years older than Mum and their strong and happy marriage lasted until Dad died a couple of weeks after their 40th wedding anniversary. Their wide range of interests/hobbies encompassed those they shared and collaborated on and those they happily did alone. They certainly never ran out of things to talk about, and the age difference was the least important facet of their mutual love, respect and admiration.’
The media propensity to show men usually being paired with women 10 -15 years their junior is just another aspect of the unrealistic way TV portrays our society. If you took your views from TV and film you might think that on average women only lived till the age of 40, since few older women ever appear.
Closer home we now have Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif calling it quits. If statistics are to go by, most of the Indian marriages that take place (I am talking about the arranged ones) seem to look for this wide age difference. They feel if the husband is older, then he is more mature and can handle the younger wife and her immaturity! Gender politics at its best. Sonali rubbishes the claim and says ‘The guy I was dating was older than me and left me. It was as if the love had died between us. And about being mature, he was the most immature man I had ever come across.’
To be honest I really take a very middle path to this argument. Having dated people who were much older than me (almost eight years being the most recent) and people of my age I feel each relationship has its own sell by date and it has got nothing to do with age. Yes it definitely is easier when you date someone closer to your age with whom you share the same interests but then the heart does not look at the birth certificate before falling in love!