Hi guys, I am back again with something that has always fascinated me, the so-called male psyche in relationships. Most men complain that it’s the women who are complicated. But, some how, I am of the opinion that it isn’t either easy to understand men.
It takes time, dedication, patience and nurturing lasting bonds before you get to the core of a man’s heart and mind, be it your father, brother, friend, husband, boyfriend. So taking this interesting topic ahead, let me today talk about something that all women must have felt at some time in their life. Are men really shy in expressing themselves, or is it they are just programmed to be so, quiet and inexpressive of their emotions in love.
Men are usually uneasy with relationships. When a man feels something for a woman, he takes a lot of time to come to terms with this feeling. At first there is dilemma to segregate love from lust since both are integral to a man’s psychology. Well, it is integral to female psychology also, but I believe a woman easily distinguish between the true love and a mere physical attraction or infatuation. Women are more intelligent, I guess:-) Jokes apart, men often can’t differentiate between subtle differences in variations of their own thoughts. So in such a state they have no option but to refrain from acceptance of the eternal truth of falling in love. Moreover, men usually try to find logic in everything even the emotions they experience, which is practically impossible. Emotions and logic doesn’t go hand in hand.:-)
It seems that genetically, beautiful sensitivities like love and emotions don’t really go well with the male: the chauvinist and impregnable version of a homo sapien. What is the reason behind men not being very indicative about their feelings for a woman, the woman who rule their minds, hearts and dreams. Is it fear, confusion, ego, nonchalance, or diffidence? The answer varies in content and extent from person to person. Men remain inexpressive of their inmost feelings for different reasons. Many of my male friends would agree, men are generally shy or hesitant when they propose the girl of their dreams for the first time. Many men try and act cool that it doesn’t really matter but the fact remains that it is not easy for any human being to accept rejection in any sphere of life. But for those who are already in a relationship, its not fear of rejection or diffidence. The extent to which they express largely depends on the level of seriousness and commitment involved. There are some who bear the notion that it’s not “manly” to be emotional. According to surveys, men who are emotional understand a woman better. But even an emotional man would not be as open and as good with words as a woman would be. For the simple reason, that they can't blabber, they cant repeat the same thing again and again in different ways, they just try to keep things SIMPLE.:-)
Different men have different circumstances and thus have different ways of their expression of love and affection. Some believe that it’s just the confusion that makes men less candid in love. Men are too engrossed in their usual boys stuff that they in most cases neither desire nor dare to look deep inside and ask themselves “ how deeply they feel for a girl”? Also, in some circumstances, pain from past changes the way someone lives in the present and future. Life is unfair, relationships are queer, and ego multiplies the extent of complexity in love. And that can be another reason that stop men from being loud about their love interests. A lot of men are waiting for the fresh change where women take on the brave act of proposing. Women have always been asking for equal rights, so why don’t they rightfully play the part of initiating a relationship. Surveys show that guys adore and admire women making the first move. Well, no doubt we have quite an ample number of bold gals to answer back to such egoistic freaks. Times have changed and girls unapologetically and gracefully say “I do” before their man says so.
Last but not the least, we have the commitment phobic men. They fear expressing their love as expression strengthens a relation further and takes it a step nearer to commitment. So probably when we say men shy away, it’s like virtually saying they shy away from commitment, from responsibility and from solemnizing a relation with a strong and firm foundation. Men can commit to education, career, work and to hobbies and their passions, but when it comes to committing to a girl they get jitters that shake them to the core. Man-Woman relationship has always been a point of contention and it will remain so for many years to come. It is because this relation is so very dynamic; it has so many unpredictable and irrational dimensions. It is in simple words human behavior that changes each moment, each day. Women feel men are less expressive but may be it’s just in the relative sense, as men believe women are over expressive.:-)
There are questions in life that don’t have exact answers and when questions pertain to relationships, there can’t be any politically and emotionally correct ones. So for all those men out their who had been inexpressive in voicing their deepest emotions hidden inside the core of their heart, just know that faith makes all things possible and love makes all things easy. All you hot hunks, and cool guys out there just take it easy. If you have faith in your heart and love in your sight, just go ahead and bring the two together and say it, say it aloud to the girl of your dreams, to your fiancée, or even to the beautiful lady whom you married 10 years ago. The magic of those three golden word, ”I Love you” will fill your life with a new meaning each time you say them. So don’t shy away, just express, and express with a charm, with an attitude that sweeps your girl off her feet.
And for all you women out there, here’s a little piece of advice,
Men are strange creatures,
They’ll hate you; they’ll irritate you,
They’ll call you emotional fools,
They’ll tease you with stupid names,
They’ll deny you; they’ll defy you,
They can be shy or bold,
But their breaths are in your hold,
Beneath all fears, beneath all pretence,
The truth prevails; they cant live without you,
Yes, indeed, Oh! Woman, the man is incomplete without you!!!
So try understanding your man till I come up with another interesting issue :-)
Reach me at:
http://discoveringmyownsoul.blogspot.com/









piakaghar.com
livenri.com
hmm not agree.
hmm not agree.
well, you have the free will
well, you have the free will to agree or not agree... Just to clarify... its not a generalization, its just an opinion aboutthose who fall into this category, ofcourse there are candid men as well women...
Namita Kohli
Reach me at: http://discoveringmyownsoul.blogspot.com
Nice Read
Rejection! Yes, most men fear rejection. A woman making the first move sometimes backfire too. I am not an expert but I do believe in timely expression of desire. It may be lust as well as love. Time factor plays a vital role for molding a connection into a relationship. Nice read Namita :)
Keep writing
Pallav
thanks pallav... yeah the
thanks pallav... yeah the writing in no way is a generalization. ofcourse different situations see different sides of men as well women...
Namita Kohli
Reach me at: http://discoveringmyownsoul.blogspot.com
---
--- to an extent true ---
i guess i don't agree with the whole context. Quite feminist huh! :) Nice read though. You have expressed your anguish pretty well. Cheers!
NJ, Yeah it just an oinion
NJ,
Yeah it just an oinion and in no way a generalization. Of course there are different sides of different men.. The piece has nothing to do with my anguish, its a plain flow of my thoughts about a tricky issue... Aplogies if any of the content seems offensive..
Namita Kohli
Reach me at: http://discoveringmyownsoul.blogspot.com
I am sure u are single... and cribbing...
get a life... its not about men and women... its about love... i feel from your words that you fell in love with someone ball-less and hence treat the whole specie that way... smile, not all men turn their arse to love... most of them are straight... :-)
Guest, Nothing personal...
Guest,
Nothing personal... Aplogies if you found the content offensive...
Its simply a viewpoint and each one of us has the right to have a one... Its not a generalization.. It would be nice if you keep the dignity of not trying to comment on someone's personal affairs...
Namita Kohli
Reach me at: http://discoveringmyownsoul.blogspot.com
Social Conditioning and some more
Going by the Article Name I wanted to write a comment even before I read the article. Nice Article though. While I agree to some of what you have to say, being an old timer (thirty something) I don't agree with quite a few of your opinions. I can't speak for all mankind but only myself. My daughter keeps complaining that she never sees me crying and believes that me and her Mom were born to fight. Both are as untrue as the stork who brought her home. I have tried to refute the former allegation though.
So if you are like my daughter, you too would say "Oh men don't cry" or be over judgemental and say "men are insensitive". It is not like men don't feel emotions just that they are conditioned not to express it. Its how the men are brought up. I am sure you have heard Moms telling their little champs... "No... no crying... Brave boys don't cry. Look everyone is watching. You have to be strong and brave"... That my friend is social conditioning. Poor guys are just trying to Man up to the "Man Image". They feel the same/similar emotions as girls under same/similar circumstances. Just that they don't express it and don't react similarly. In fact if the guy is expressing his emotions too openly always suspect his intention maybe just to get to bed real quick. First hand experience speaking. :)
I agree that telling the woman of your dreams that you love her - is very difficult. Specially if you fear that the friendly relationship that you value so much is at risk. But that goes for women too. I don't agree that women are more expressive in terms of love than men specially after the guy has been buckled and fully hitched. They may say more "I love you"s before marriage but afterwards the story is totally different ... Men atleast show passion and say the words while on the job, keeping things really "simple" in your terms. I don't remember when my better half told me she loved me - Most likely she is just avoiding telling a lie. All she keeps saying is "are you done yet"? Just like the proverbial "are we there yet". And its not just my wife. My friends complain about the exact same things. So me and my buddies chose the wrong women or are women like that? I don't know & I guess I don't care. As long as things are simple... I can concentrate on other more important things in life.
...
But thats just an old timer speaking. You new men and women of this century may be built differently.
Not bad
But then,what's new here ?I mean these stereotypes have been talked,agreed,disagreed unpteen times before,isn't it ? Anyhow,it is a breezy read.
I am not Shy - I am very expressive
I am not at all Shy..
I am very much expressive
I love to express my love, feelings towards my partner
So that does not make my inexpressive
Well.. I guess its the same with many of them
But there are cases of men whom I know.. are more shy and are inexpressive too
These days ladies are not shy, its Men who shy themselves from the society!
Lol!!1
Well, guys just to clarify I
Well, guys just to clarify I am not generalizing anything here, there are men who are shy and there are women who are candid or vice versa. Each individual has the right to hold their own respectable opinion.
Namita Kohli
Reach me at: http://discoveringmyownsoul.blogspot.com
Men are shy ? Go to a pub & checkout...
Are you kidding me ?
Well, yeah there are men who
Well, yeah there are men who are shy in relationships. Talking about pubs there could even be women who are far more expressive than their male counterparts.. :-)
No offence, not generalizing anything here. But you do find men who are shy. Or you could say they are programmed that way that they dont express too much. Atleast some of them are.
Namita Kohli
Reach me at: http://discoveringmyownsoul.blogspot.com
Post new comment