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Holistic Wellness- "Give Your Relationships Some Space"

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What is Holistic Wellness? : A holistic approach of wellness is combination of: your diet, movement, spiritual and mental wellness. You can have a beautiful body, but if your inner issues are not resolved, soon you will encounter some problems in your physical body. It is important to find a balance on inner issues like your happiness and your quiet time through sleep and meditation. Thoughts, sleep, stress, your dreams and movement. Everything counts. This approach to wellness is very scientific, as well as being influenced by eastern culture of Chakra and yin-yang. We look at movement with the primal pattern, for example lunges, squats, push, pull and twist. We diet according to your metabolic type but, to us, nutrition is nourishment too. happiness comes in the form of your dreams. Quiet time is meditation, for expression we do art work like Mandala and sleep. A holistic coach is a fine practitioner in movement and a healer too where s/he will reach inside your spiritual and mental level too. In short your body is a temple but the idol of that temple or say Prana lives inside so it is important to look at all aspect rather then focusing just on one thing.




This Week's Topic :

Give your relationships some space to breathe!


Do you remember your first love? You were young and you meet this wonderful person. Everything – yes! Everything about that person seemed so wonderful. He was the person just meant to be for you. Then the love gives way to passion and needs – the Second Chakra coming into play – and we find love at a different level. And then you might marry the same person or have lived with him for a long time. Now, the relationship does not feel the same. Something has gone missing. Have you heard of the saying, ‘no warmth left’; or ‘the passion has died down’; or many such phrases that people use to describe this flight or death of the emotions in a relationship.


So what has gone wrong here? Is this a natural end to a relationship? Do all relationships die? Why does that person does not seem interesting any more. Why do not we feel happy or belonged or in love the same way? In such a situation we feel confused, unloved, rejected and blame the other person for our miseries. And withdraw inside. This affects our other relationships as well – with friends, with colleagues. And we seek help. In my experience over the last decade, the issue of relationships – or rather the lack of it – has been the root cause for most of the problems.


Why did we enter into a relationship with the person in the first place? There might be many reasons for this . Firstly our need to get in a relationship with that person was very different then what it was when we first met. Second, we forge new relationship to seek a missing relationship in our lives. For example, we maybe looking for a relation which was absent in our lives when growing up – say of a father or mother or a sibling. The person was very close to our concept of the missing relationship and hence we were attracted. So when we fell in love with that person we finally found the missing relation in that person. Does it make sense? 


Sometime back, I was working with a couple having relationship issues. Sometime back, I was working with a couple with relationship issues. The client (the lady) was more like a mother to that guy than a wife. The guy also admitted that she was caring and she was like a mother figure to him. In their long term relationship, they found they are not living as a couple. When I pointed out this to them they started looking at their relationship from a different perspective. In such cases most of the time you may find it is harder to live together as a partner or a lover. In the first place, the attraction was there as the male was seeking a motherly figure and the woman was happy fulfilling the role – of ‘taking care of him’. Later in their life, when the need for motherly figure was diminished, the person was seeking a ‘lover’ relationship elsewhere than from the same partner who had been the motherly figure. The person was unable to transform the relationship with his needs. 


Some relationship issues stem from a painful incident in the past. For example, if you have been a victim of abuse in your childhood, or have had confidence issues (due to dominant parents, siblings or bullying) you may seek to avenge the incident by trying to find a person to victimize. Your partner may play along initially thinking it as love but later they feel ‘trapped’. When the ‘victim’ in the relationship stands up for their rights, there is a rift and relationship issues surface. 


Third type of relationship is very common where we enter in a relationship thinking the person is magical, life giving and will bring everything in his/ her life - happiness , money, togetherness. In a way, they look for perfectness. When the perfect partner behaves less than perfect, or when they see other couples being more perfect than themselves, they get upset as they can see the vacuum in their life. 


We all have choices in life to be happy to be in a relationship where we are just not happy but we help other person to grow and fly. If we feel trapped or unhappy I bet the other person in relationship with you, is feeling the same. It would be wonderful to get yourself free from that relationship. 


Long-term relationship is about the fourth chakra. Finding just not the desire, need or sex but to feel belonged and happy.  The fourth chakra is called Anahata . It means "unstuck", unhurt , fresh and clean. It is represented byAir and it means freedom, flying, untrapped or openness . Now think about this. If in a relationship someone feels trapped, they can't fly or have non room to breathe, their definition of love changes and the beauty of the relationship is destroyed . 


Few simple things to remember here, if you really want a relationship to work:

• Find your inner happiness by doing the things you love to do. It is not necessary for both the partners to do things together, always. Do not drag your partner in things what you want to do. 


• Explore your fine balance of shiva and shakti, yin and yang, masculine and feminine energy. 


• When you are content and full with your inner needs and happiness you give more in your relationship. 


• If you are in a relationship that does not give you space to move or fly, it's time to move from that comfort zone.


• I personally see most  relationships go through lot of ups and downs in life but if both the partners are grounded, loved and are capable of creating their own ripple of love and happiness they succeed. 


• Sometime we need to go in a different direction to find our true relationship with other person. 


• If we are trying a lock with wrong keys it will not work, we need to find the right key to open the lock. 


Relationship is about finding  true love and potential  for each other and not feeling trapped or unwanted. Very recently I had done a small video on this topic here:


Here’s to a wonderful loving relationship for you! Till the next time!

Bye for now!


About the author : Archna is a qualified Holistic Life style Practitioner from CHEK Institute, USA.  In addition, she has  done a number of courses in nutrition, and various forms of healing.  Archna works  with her clients located globally  on issues related to weight loss, depression, addiction, digestive issues, skin or physical issues in body. She has conducted a number of workshop worldwide. She is a keen writer on motivating and inspiring people with her work.  Her approach involves a mix of east and west cultures, she is known for her work on Chakra System and yin-yang system. A mother of two grown up kids, a dog and a loving husband she maintains a fine balance between home and her work. 

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