The average human feels a varied number of sensations, which are termed as feelings, which actually do not correspond to the five usual senses. They feel joy, anger, sadness, jealousy, hatred, guilt, pain, love, and even detachment. Among all these I feel that guilt is one which over rides all the feelings. May be it is the mother in me speaking. Most moms ride the guilt train quite often, and they admitted to it. Guilt of any kind in which they are either depriving their kids or the house or even their work. It could be said they have a distinct knack of feeling guilty over most rudimentary things. They are also guilt magnets, and can be the first to go in a total frenzy about "oh my god what did I do". I really can not speak about men, in this aspect, as I suppose they feel guilty a lot lot less in reagards to day to day matters.
Guilt is a two sided sword. It cuts to cause pain and even strives to make you achieve. It hurts making you feel the most lowly creature at one time, and then wakes you up and makes you run for the things not done. What a paradox this guilt can be. It is really something to ponder upon, don't you think so. Well I had been noticing one major aspect of the emotion named guilt, that is, it hugely influences the kind called "mothers". As I said before, the ones working from home or out, always corrodes themselves with the acid of guilt. I am speaking of the majority, not all, they think they are balancing home and work, but look into their heart, am sure you will see the acid at work.
This unique feeling makes them do more than they can, they are like magic makers, mornings all smiles for their kids who she sees off for the day, day time she is still smiling at work, and back home in the evening she has the grin pasted till bedtime. Do you really think she is smiling as because she is happy, or she wants all around her to be happy? If you do ask her, most of the time her answer will be the second one, as she feels guilty if she does not keep her family happy. Strange, isn't it? I think the female, is sort of programed in their genes to accommodate, to adjust, and to be a part of the whole. I definitely can be wrong and many will differ with me in this aspect, but I do have many good female friends, and many female relatives, who made me analyse and put this into perspective.
My feelings are entirely my views and so please no offence to any woman who has a different view. I feel as woman change their titles from a daughter and sister to a wife and mother, she goes trough many changes. Some physical and most of them chemical. I used these scientific words as because the physical changes are apparent, which all can see, but the chemical ones are invisible to the eye. They are the most drastic and the most strong. They can actually change the total personality of that female. She acquires a divine strength, and a unique capability to become any thing form a savior to a monster. The second sounds pretty scary right? But, for sure she can change her avatar from "Durga" to "Kali" in seconds flat.
When she has to manage all these responsibilities, which she takes very seriously, she taxes herself beyond limits. I think, then is when she keeps guilt as her companion. The moment she is not able to do one of the things on her list she is hugging "guilty". For her all her things and wishes takes a back seat, and some times into the trunk, pushed back some where in the dark corner, that she may even forget it is there. Most moms are like a beacon for their kids, but I feel we moms should try our best to keep guilt at bay. It sometimes does more damage than good. It makes us so morose that we portray that through our senses. Kids are very receptive to their mother's feeling, so the less guilty we feel the better we can be with them. Guilt is good to an extent, but letting it rule our lives, no way. If the mothers are happy then the family is, as they are the core of the family.
Ladies lets take a vow, to tell guilt to mind its own business, and strive to do our best for family and friends alike. So the guilt train would be less traveled, and not much too be heard off.
Picture courtesy : Google
Submitted by Anumita Chatter... on Sun, 06/03/2012 - 08:08