Waiting Outside a Ladies’ Trial Room

Whenever my wife and I go shopping for ladies wear, my wife insists that I stand right outside the trial room and give her my feedback about the outfit. And I have a habit of quickly coming to a decision at the very first glance itself. I would wink or make some signs which she duly decodes and goes inside to try her next selection. This quick fire decision making has often landed me in very near embarrassments.
For the security guards posted outside the trial rooms, it is usually difficult to catch our lightening fast trials. When they are busy in managing the crowd, my wife would open the trial room door, and I would pass on my comments in an instance, and she goes back inside – all in a couple of seconds. And they begin to wonder whether I’m waiting there for any particular female at all, or to ogle at females in general. Every time they pass me their degree of politeness changes for the worse with the corner of their mouth taking an ugly turn. The situation would get very edgy and I always anticipate an embarrassing end. But then my wife would come out in the nick of time as if she her instinct told her that something grave is about to happen to her better half and her presence is needed. 
 
This Diwali when we went out for shopping, I had a completely different experience. Since it was festival time, there was a huge crowd of males outside the ladies trial room, men waiting for their woman and comment on the tried costume. While some were already busy sizing up their female in their new costume, others were engaged in searching for empty rooms.
 
My wife found her way through the maze and disappeared into a room, but I was stuck in the back row of commenting males. When my wife popped out with her new dress on, she could not locate me for a while. Her eyes quickly shifted through the crowd. I somehow managed to capture her attention by lifting my hand, but I was still literally hidden behind a huge man standing right in front of me. 
 
I quickly flashed my face through the side, and passed her my comments. But my wife’s return smile hit the huge man square on his face. He quickly turned around to check whether anybody else is receiving her smile. He studied my face carefully. Either he took me for granted or the lack of excitement on my face deceived him into believing I was not the guy, whatever the reason, the next time my wife came out this man would take over the commenting job. He made a thumps up sign to her next garment. My wife was taken aback, but she picked up her sense and she smiled coyly at the man, and went back inside to try her next one. She didn’t bother to check with me. I realized the situation was going out of my hands. But before I could do anything to salvage my position, wife came out again. This time the man was quiet and he didn’t make any gesture. So I seized the moment, again through the side, and gave her a wink with a beaming smile. But our man’s non-reaction suggested that he didn’t like the dress. So I anxiously waited for my wife to show up with the next selection.
 
She came out. The man in front was clearly happy. My wife was trying a green top with lot of wrinkles on it – she had told it was the latest trend. It really suited her complexion, I thought. The man made a thumps up. Then, suddenly my nerve for tolerance snapped. The guy had been getting under my skin. If he had asked my permission, I would have granted in writing. Waiting outside a ladies trial room is not my favorite pass-time. But he had insulted me. He had bruised my ego. I wanted to show him who the owner is.
 
I nudged him aside, and jumped in front. Only then I realized, much to my embarrassment (and later to my wife’s when I told her on our way home), the man was, and had been, passing his comments to a woman who was using the trial room next to my wife’s !!