Skip to main content

Why God Made Wives...

Posted in

Arunava walked in through the garage door – expecting his 3 year old daughter to run up to him – which she did..He picked her up and peeked into the living room.
Empty!!

He peeked further and saw Anima – his wife of 15 years scurrying across the kitchen to prep the night’s dinner and occasionally nudging/ scolding their 8 year old son to do his homework correctly. He sat with his homework on the kitchen counter and Arunava saw that Anima had not even changed out of her work outfit....Both Mom and son were oblivious to Dads homecoming!!!

He was feeling particularly good that day –his prized shares went up the bumpy stock market ride and one of his projects got approved at work too..so all in all - a successful day. He wanted to share this with Anima but looking at the 'kitchen' situation – decided it was not a good time. So he quietly placed his daughter on the ground and went upstairs to freshen up. When he came back down in an hour – she found Anima sitting on the couch. She was now monitoring Akash’s piano practice. But she seemed relaxed– her hair tucked up, make up removed – she looked totally homely and beautiful. He loved her!!

Arunava sat down with a glass of beer and picked up the Wall Street journal – hoping to pick up from where he left in the morning. He casually started the conversation and when told her about his gain in the market – he just managed a “Really?? Good for you”. He realized for the “n”th time- with dismay - that a woman’s attention does not go deeper beyond the worthless metal and piece of stone!!

He delved into the WSJ again and was lost in the world until Anima asked “Did you call up the number I gave you?”
Arunava’s first reaction was – “what number?
”“Oh don’t tell me you forgot..I emailed you and pinged you and called you to remind ..today was the last day for registering Akash in the summer soccer team!!”
Arunava felt like running away from the house. He knew exactly what was coming next..the litany of charges…..
“You do not seem to pay ANY (stress on this word) attention to what I say these days”
“I am doing a triple full time job (she considers her family and kids two separate full time jobs!!) with no help from you - the least I can expect is to do the tasks that I request “.. (was that a Request????)
The decibel level rose in steps with each sentence…
“I am suffering since the day we got married and no matter how I try – you will not change”
He was confused – he thought she started off with “…these days” which means he was better before..but he dared not argue.
In the end came the final declaration or realization “I know all men have MDS – but you are the worst”
She has come up with this term – Male Deficiency Syndrome that identifies the 'not-able-to-take-hints'(he calls it plainness') selective-forgetfulness in men and many other things women think men are lacking and jokes about this with her girlfriends.
For this - He hated her!!!

He allowed the storm to subside and made special conciliatory effort that night to clean the dishes and load the dishwasher ‘exactly’ the way she wanted it.. He even attempted to tell her that he will call the next day and implore and beg them to Akash in the team.
“thanks but I will take care of that”

Arunava went upstairs – hoping that Anima will forget this episode after a good night’s sleep..
Next morning was indeed better. Anima woke him up with a soft nudge before starting out for work at 7.30.
“The coffee is downstairs – don’t forget to rinse the cup though.”
She walked out with Akash and Arushi – to drop them off at school on her way.
At around mid morning – Arunav got a call from Anima. Not willing to repeat last nights blunder, he picked up the call.
“Few girls at work are planning for a week-long girl’s only trip to a resort”
“Oh Ok”
“They are asking me to join…”
In a moment Anima’s daily soap flashed in his mind
“I have to toooo many things to do-you don’t help at all – I wish you and I could swap roles so you understand what I go through” etc etc.
“Off course – go ahead”
He wanted to show her that what she does around the house is no big deal and he can take care of everything - easily..
“Are you sure?”
"Absolutely”
“But Arushi has not stayed away from me ever”
“Oh but she has to learn – don’t worry they will be fine”

The trip was to a hill resort a few hours away. The rest of the gang carpooled but Anima insisted to drive her own car – in case she had to come back sooner. Arunava tried to tell her that there is no need to drive alone – and come back sooner but she insisted. And like most arguments, she won!!So, off she went - on a Sunday evening – posting numerous notes on the refrigerator doors and giving numerous instructions to Arunava on how to run the house when she was gone.

Mostly Arunava shut his mind off to them… As soon as her car went out of sight, Arunava picked up the phone and called one of his friends – whether he wanted to play poker that night. His friend was not that “lucky” – he had to run some errands for his wife..errr..family. So, Arunava fed the kids with whatever Anima had left for that day and send them to bed. He himself then settled down with a pay-per-view and a carton of beer… Next morning he woke up from the nudge of his son. "daddy its time for school"
He jumped off the bed - it was 8.00 in the morning and he had 15 mins to get himself, his son and daughter - ready for the day!!
"Shit!!!!! " was all he could say..
What followed the next 20 mins could put any marathon runner to shame.
He threw some cereal in cold milk and gave it to Akash while he ran upstairs to wake up his daughter. When he came back - the cereal and the bowl stared at him - and Akash too..
"Eat your cereal - fast" he yelled ..
"But today is toast and omlette day" ..
"is that a rule????" Obviously he was unaware if there "was" one..
"yes - Mommy always gives me that on Monday"
"Eat whatever I gave you"
"But mommy said not to break any rule of the house"
(Shut up and eat it or go hungry") was what he felt like but that would seal the fate of his married life - so he had to admit to his son that he did not know the rule and besides no one should waste food. (That had to be another rule in Anima's house!!)
He did not have any time to make his coffee..

Akash was late for school and so was he - for his meeting.
The evening followed in a similar manner and when Anima called to check on things - Akash gave an "accurate" detail of things around the house. Anima asked him if things are okay and whether she should come back home - sooner than planned. His ego would not let him admit that and ask her to come back.

That night he did not venture into pay-per-view world and put the alarm on for 7.00 AM the next morning.
He woke up and made toast and omlette for the kids only to learn that it was hash brown and sausage day....he pleaded again and tried to brew some coffee.

When he opened the cabinet - he found numerous tins of coffee. That did not make sense at all..why would Anima have so many tins? (That coffee has different flavors and that you are supposed to store them separately - did not occur to him) Anyway, he picked one and not knowing the proportion - threw in an amount which he thought would make a 'strong' cup.

He sipped it "Yikes!!! it tasted like hot beer".

The morning went without much catastrophe but he got a call from his daughter's school at 3.00 pm - that she had an 'accident' in school and needed to be picked up since there were no extra clothes provided in her back pack that day.
He hurriedly picked her up and brought her home - barely making it to his another meeting.

When he came out of the room to check on his daughter whom he had given a box of crayon and a paper to draw on - has painted the walls instead!!.
He gave a "reflexive" scream and off came the loud wail at the highest decibel level she could muster.
Next came his son - sullen because he got a "tardy" slip at school.

As the evening progressed - things worsened...Arunav discovered that helping his son with his homework is not at all easy. Akash seemed to be interested in everything else but his own homework - which frustrated Arunav to the n th degree. He wondered how Anima put up with this day after day....

Dinner was another disaster..
Arunav managed to burn the chicken in the oven and the rice seemed to have been harder than usual (Anima did not put a note on how much water is needed for how much rice!!).
And the kids just refused to eat. He was debating whether to go out and get McDonalds or let them go to bed(after all - one night's fast would not kill them) when Anima called.

Akash made a beeline to the phone and picked it up. Arunav looked intensely at his son trying to guess the conversation - and signaled him to ask mommy to come back but Akash could not get the hint. Alas – his son inherited the SAME MDS that he suffered from!!!!

Anima asked for her husband and after asking ‘seemingly’ general questions announced that she was coming back the next day..
Arunav jumped with joy.
Thank God Anima was a woman and did not have MDS!!!!
He thanked God again for making them…women... and more so WIVES….

5
Your rating: None Average: 5 (2 votes)

Nice.

Good one !

fundu

So aptly described :) hip hip hooray for the wives :)

Aquarius

Cool

Wives rock! What will these husbands do without us!
enjoyed reading it a lot!

A good one indeed!

A good one indeed!

Cheers to WIVES!

Nicely written.....cheers to women power.

Pleasure reading this. Would

Pleasure reading this. Would love to have my hubby read this...but then again why bother....he too has a bad case of MDS !!!!

Wives rule! thanks for such a

Wives rule! thanks for such a lovely post!

this is an extremely gender

this is an extremely gender stereotypical, heteronormative piece of writing. its time we got over such stereotypes.

Post new comment

  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <img> <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
Humans welcome! Spam Bots and Aliens Sorry!!
Fill in the blank